Monthly Archives: February 2010

>Baby Girl, February 28, 2010

>This is just off the top of my head. My Brother and his Wife just had a baby!!! She’s a little early so she’s in NIC, but the doctors say they’re both healthy. Praise God! They’ve been through a lot, and I mean A LOT!!!! Welcome to the world Little One! May God grant you wisdom and grace. May you walk in favor with God and man. May you grow in health: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. May you always be kind but never a fool. May you find love, happiness and peace wherever you go. I’ve never met you but I already love you. Just because you’re You. And because of the tremendous happiness you’ve brought your Mom and Dad.


>Get A Nugget! Or A Clue!


Boy, it’s a mixed bag of nuts this weekend. Today is soft, cloudy and gray, just like I like it. Honey is at work (pout) and Baby is nowhere to be seen, though she’s probably hiding in Daddy’s office closet. Remember, she’s a Daddy’s Girl.

Target didn’t have my drapes in but that’s okay ‘cuz I found some little baskets to go in the main bathroom. Instead of two mismatched oldies, I now have matching pretty ones that also go with the color scheme. No drapes, no biggie. See how easy I am? (Besides, Honey said to just order them online and not wait on a truck to bring more in…love it when he says things like that to me! Oooooo! *Wink*)

Decided early this morning that I’m done with FB. Their stupid new feed doesn’t let me see my friends’ news and the games take up waaaaay too much time. I’m going to Farm Town and that’s pretty much it. (I only got to check on it once or twice a week; therefore, I get my fix without wasting tons of time. Cool.) Compromise. It’s what it’s all about.

Anyway, made a deal with myself about the FB issue and got new stuff for my new house, so what’s the problem? A stinking, cross-eyed headache from Hades, that’s what. Usually a DayQuil and an Excedrin will do the trick. This bad boy is digging in his heels and trying to set up residence. Does Mucinex make medicine for these little buggers? No matter what I do, nothing is helping. Caffeine, salt, real food-none of these are working. Not even a nap. Dang.

I also need to get dressed and go to the grocery store, but if people are like they were yesterday, I’m not sure it’s a good idea. With a headache like this, I’m likely to forget myself and hurt someone. People are rude! And strange!

I would never, ever, ever make fun of anyone. Mother taught me better. That being said, if you’re a big girl, I mean a REALLY big girl, it’s probably not a good idea to wear neon blaze orange. You’re just asking for ridicule. I’m not a small girl myself and I do my best to downplay that, not call attention to it. If you see anyone you call your friend, slap them. They’re falling down on the job. Okay, that was my “trying to be kind” comment. Here are the one’s that have attitude and some head shaking with them:

The left lane is for traffic going faster than traffic in the right lane. Green does NOT mean stop! The lines in the middle are to define your space from mine. It is not okay to use all of your space and half of mine. Please do not let your offspring run, literally and figuratively, all over the store. If your child runs into me, and especially if your child is wearing Heelys, I will proceed to point out the error of their ways in tones and terms they will forever remember and understand. If you feel the need to have a big ole reunion (family, school, prision…) in a department store, please do so in some out of the way place. The middle of a busy isle or at the end of several busy isles is not a good choice. And when people say “excuse me” to indicate that they need to come through, it might be because they actually have reason to do so, so keep your stupid facial expressions to yourself. They just confirm what I’m already thinking. If your child is screaming its head off, pay attention. I’m not a mommy and I can tell the difference between an angry cry and a sleepy/tired/hungry cry. Some of you need to take your children to the car and have a word with them. Others of you just need to take your children home. Why must people drag around their tired and hungry children? Their needs are, at the very least (should be the most), as important as yours. Get a sitter. Pick them up and hold them. Keep Cheerios in a baggie in the car, along with juice boxes. There’s a MacDonald’s every 500 yards in America, stop and get a nugget. Or a clue! Dang.

My favorite thing (sarcasm speaking) from yesterday was a tag I saw. On a beautiful white Toyota, framed just so, a tag read: DODGESUV. It’s no wonder my head hurts!

>Wars, Games, and Evil Satisfaction

K, haven’t made it to Target yet, but I’m working on it. Let me preface this entry by saying that I love my Honey. He is absolutely, without question, the best husband anyone could ever ask for. He deserves a Purple Heart, The Presidential Medal of Honor, and the Silver Cross-he puts up with me. He is patient, kind, funny, works like a dog, and let’s me have all the ‘puter time I want (this in part because I let him have all the X-BOX time he wants). I never have to ask permission to buy anything (as if!) or go anywhere, even if it’s to the beach with the girls (please, we’re nearly all over forty, married, and too dang tired!).

So here’s the thing…you ever wage a silent war with your special someone? You know what I mean. The tp runs out in the bathroom. Being a female, it’s very important to have some handy, right? If I notice that the current roll will soon be ending, I, only sometimes self righteously, will get a new one and place it on the back of the toilet. The person who finishes off the old one will surely replace it with the new one. You know, the one on the back of toilet, right there, in front of you, just a few inches from where your hand presses that little handle? Hello! Yeah, well, NO. I could count on less than one hand the times that’s actually happened. Next trip to the bathroom, the old roll is empty. And there, right where I put it, is the new one. Already started. Well, I’m not going to put it on the holder; if he can’t be bothered to do it, why should I? And so the game begins. To our shame, whole rolls have been emptied while resting on the back of the toilet. Sadly, this is not the only game we play.

I just visited the bathroom (sorry TMI) and, while attempting to wash my hands, I found that the soap dispenser is…you guessed it. Empty. Dang it! Honey can make tiny, one inch (no kidding) paper sail boats. He can fix a computer, a printer, plumbing, hang things, drill, paint, detail, do logic problems in a disgustingly short amount of time….but he can’t open a door, remove the soap refill bottle, unscrew the pretty little pump, and pour soap into the pretty little container… He apparently can’t even tell me the soap is empty. That would at least be something. Maybe he’s afraid telling me would be acknowledging the issue and that he would therefore be responsible for its resolution. Hmmm….

Still (tilting my chin up, sniff, raise eyebrows in a haughty manor), these things, though small, are important. To me, at least. He is, as I stated earlier, wonderful. Everyday, he finds some little way to please or surprise me; even if it’s just something he knows I will find funny (I have a great sense of humor and love to laugh-it’s great meds). But it’s just not okay to have to wait for pee to dry. Ick! And what if it’s another kind of emergency? OMG, can you imagine? What if no one was home?!! And everyone (oh, I really hope everyone) appreciates soap at the end of these particular visits.

So please, PLEASE, at the very least, mention the soap. If you notice the tp is ending (or gone) be kind enough to place a roll on the back of the toilet. And if you should (gulp) use the last of the tp, I mean the very last, and you’re the one who put it on the back of the toilet without mentioning the fact that it was, in fact, THE VERY LAST OF THE TP, well, just keep in mind that we love you anyway (pat pat pat). If we don’t blow up about it, if much slamming of doors and stomping of feet doesn’t occur, remind yourself (quickly) that women know how to fix things, too. (Insert shrewd, somewhat evil grin.) Your very life (or body parts) may depend on how well you know your special someone, her favorite store, favorite scent, favorite food….get the picture? I’m just saying.

>K, I’m Awake Now

It’s Saaaatuuuurrrrrdaaaay! I slept late (6:30), sounds ambitious, huh? Psych! The most constructive things I’ve done so far are feed Baby and feed myself. (Breakfast for me was leftovers from Ruby Tuesdays-yum!) I’m in my office sitting by the window and playing on the ‘puter. I was jonesing for some FB, so I fed that fix. Trolled through all my fav sites, and now here I am, tweaking my blog. Congrats, me! I have a new addiction! I have actually caught myself wondering how soon is too soon to post something new. You know, if you think about it, this can be a really self serving kind of thing. Seriously, who cares what you’re doing, watching, thinking, etc. But really, it is therapeutic. I get to say anything I want, when I want. Cool.

Baby was sitting with me earlier, looking out the window at birds. She got kinda antsy when she saw another cat walking through our yard. Did I mention we have a Baby? She’s approximately two years old, tabby with black, gold, and brownish-red markings. Honey found her at his work and brought her home to me. *Sniff* I’m the cat lover but she’s HIS child.

Okay, I really need to get a shower and get to Target. They should have the drapes I need in by now. Kinda sucks to have one set when you really need two.

>Vodka and Valium

Hallelujah!!!!! I actually made it to Friday. After the day we had at work, I wasn’t so sure, although to some degree this is typical:

First thing, we had to keep our room doors open-our side of the hall had no heat so the logic was that the heat in the left hand side of the building would flow into our right hand side. Have you ever tried to keep curious children of all ages in rooms that suddenly had easy access to lovely, long hallways perfect for running? Not to mention access to other classrooms filled with friends, different toys and artwork to look at…and any child who is older is a ROCK STAR to younger ones, especially the very animated ones who LOVE the attention and ham it up better than anyone on American Idol. And these kids are talented-they generate screaming admiration that can drown out any teacher’s cry for a modicum of control. Not always an easy task. The babies, actually the “walkers” as they are referred to, especially didn’t like the teasing. Yeah buddy, they wanted to explore the big wide world reeeeealy bad.

It was comical to the point of hysterical insanity to hear all the children yelling at “Bob the Builder”-the name of any repairman wearing a hat. Sadly, these guys just smiled and went on about their business. Unlike the lawnmower dude who, if we are on the playground, “races” the children around the fence. OMG they loose their minds. Lawnmower Dude ROCKS!

Second thing, my co-teacher (not the same one; I’m in a new classroom) was on vacay, so I had all the kids alone. Fun at potty times. So they went potty. Not EVEN ten minutes later, they were asking to go again!!!! Dang. So, we went potty again. Three little bitty minutes later, one decided to poo in their pants. Are you kidding me? This is an older classroom? What is going on here? Ah well. It’s all good.

Then, one of the teachers (a real, honest to goodness, sweetheart, I’ll call her Belle) snipped off the tip of her finger. All the children were worried about her. Yes, they actually do care about us, even though they contribute greatly to premature gray hair, somewhat aphasic speech, short term memory loss, and a strong craving for vodka and Valium. The fact that the children worry if we get a paper cut is what keeps us coming back every day. Anyway, the children were worried but, after we knew she was okay, sorry, we laughed. It’s just so typical of her. Like me, she has lost the ability to speak English or to find her mouth with a fork. So, both of us are comic relief. Actually, all the teachers are fair game as long as no one dies or requires hospitalization.

Let’s see…during lunch (we have a lunchroom and children 2 and up use it-provides time out of the room and gives everyone a small break) someone in a younger class tipped over the mop bucket. You know, one of those giant industrial things with the rolly thingies that squishes the water out of the mop? Yep, one of those. Flooded the hallway, which by now has heat everywhere, Thanks Bobs! So, we had to use the facilities in the lunchroom to potty. Anytime you get off routine, children react. They get excited. They loose their hearing and their minds. And this is just before nap. Woohoo! We also had to go out the front door, through the breezeway, (k, understand here-we’re going outside) to the side entrance to go to our rooms. Great fun! The kids thought we were going to the playground…boy were they disappointed. And they let me know it. It’s okay; I’m just going to run my finger across some fresh paper-they’ll remember they love me and forget all about outside…

That was pretty much how my week ended. The vids I downloaded from YouTube were a massive hit. Other teachers want to use them. Cool. Go Teach, it’s your birthday. Not for real though. Just for play play.

>A Rant For The Road

>I guess this is just my day to be pissed off at stupid, ignorant people. Just read on that Andrew Koenig’s body was found. Suicide. So I read the article and, unfortunately, the responses at the bottom. Some uninformed, never been there, know it all asshole wrote that, ah, now we have to hear about depression for a while, the guy was 41, had money and access to all kinds of help, bury him and get over it…wow! I would like to respond to this – ? I can’t think of a word to describe this person (term used very loosely) that apparently he doesn’t know a thing about depression. Duh! Depressed people believe the GREAT LIE. That’s what I came to call it. It’s when you really, honestly, down to the core of your being believe there is no hope, no way out, no end to the pain, no one hears you, and no one understands. You believe your life doesn’t matter, that the world would be better off without you in it, that people who are supposed to care really don’t. You can’t breathe. You can’t function. You can’t see. Hope is for the ones who did something right and tomorrow is just more pain; you feel hollowed out, empty, like the shell of a human whose carcass is slowly rotting away and you’re just waiting for someone to notice the smell. Stupid ass jerk off (sorry about language but this is one of my soapbox issues). Grass is green. We’re told this from infancy. Everyone says so, so it must be true. What if we found out it wasn’t. What if someone came from another planet and pointed out all the valid, TRUE reasons that grass was actually orange. We would be stunned, shocked, unbelieving. Depression is like that. We believe all the negative stuff, even in the face of truth. What is really true simply cannot be. Otherwise, wouldn’t we recognize it? No, we wouldn’t. The GREAT LIE has beaten us down, down to utter and complete submission. The GREAT LIE runs through our veins, permeates our being and only (sometimes, as in my case) a miracle can cut through the darkness and reveal the tiniest morsel of hope.

As a safety chairman for 4 years, I got to go to really neat meetings. At one, we took a stress test. A questionnaire with a list of things that we might have experienced in the last 6 months. I scored the highest out of 3 shifts. Dang. Everyone doesn’t have the same tolerance thresholds, or the same thresholds for different things. You can’t look at someone’s issues and say you could handle it better. Maybe you could. But other things, the other person could handle better. We are all different, break in different places and in different ways. I hope the insensitive, ignorant bleeper never has to experience what Andrew did on levels that might actually cause him to break. Then he would be wishing he hadn’t said all those mean things….

>You’re So Unwelcome, Thank You Very Much

>Okay, so I think I will allow myself one day a week to just rant about something. Here it is: I just looooove it when someone thinks they’re superior. High and mighty. That I’m a peon, something that they need to scrape off their shoe. Not long ago I saw someone I had not seen in a while. They asked how I was (fine) where I’ve been (same place I’ve been for 23 years) what I’ve been doing (working, going to school) what kind of job I had (preschool teacher)….then there it was. A wrinkled nose, as if she suddenly smelled something bad, and the condescending comment, “Well, I guess that’s ok, if you like it.” What?!! Okay, first, I don’t need your permission OR your approval. Secondly, don’t try to come off like you’re so much better, I know your kids, their habits (legal and illegal), their histories, and where lots of their smelly old skeletons are buried. Thirdly, I’m a whole new ballgame. I’m not the mousy, quiet, shy (ok, I’m still shy but not if you piss me off) fearful little thing I used to be. No sirree. I spent too many years bottling up my anger, hurt, confusion, all of the above, till it killed me (story for another time). I don’t bottle that crap up anymore. You ever heard of Krakatoa? That’s me. I used to care way too much about being polite and doing whatever it took to protect someone’s feelings. I’m over that. I’ve spent 45 years taking people’s crap. I found that slinging it right back to them makes for a happier, healthier me. (Their own crap, not mine, literally and figuratively). I’m not old, but I sure can look back a long way and I have a damn fine memory, too. So bring it, lady (term used loosely). People are only happy to see you if you tow their particular line. I gave up towing. Hell, I don’t even have lines of my own. If you’re my friend, I expect you to be you and you don’t have to cater to me at all. Honesty. That’s what I require.

Fourthly, do you have any idea whatsoever what daycare/preschool is about? We’re not babysitters, friend. (term used figuratively and somewhat sarcastically). Ever since the No Child Left Behind program started, schools have been: teaching to the EOG’s (figure it out for yourself since you know so much), labeling every kid with energy and imagination and a brain as ADHD/ODD/Bi-Polar, etc. Nephew went to 3 doctors because his Kindergarten teacher (who has no legal right to do so) told Mom that he was ADD. Doctor, all three times concluded he was smart and simply bored. Teachers are under pressure to present a percentage of high EOG scores to get funding. Any child that doesn’t fit into their cookie cutter system gets labeled and, ultimately, left behind (ironic, huh?). The day of the patient, caring teacher who would make extra efforts to make sure a child/family were in the loop and felt a connection are long gone. Agendas are sent home with Kindergarteners. Please! Our job as preschool teachers encompass so many things that you’d be amazed, and hopefully, a little humbled.
For example: I personally helped a family recognize their child had a vision problem (got serious glasses). That child, in public school, would have failed Kindergarten and been behind a year before a teacher would have taken the time to figure out why Johnny was doing some of the weird and illogical things I caught him doing. I just had to watch and connect for a while. #2: A parent expressed a concern about a new habit Son had. Everyone, including co-teacher, passed it off as an attention thing. I watched, listened, and mentioned my thoughts to Dad. Later in the week, he was in Big City doctor’s office, having 3 kinds of tests run, 1 of which included brain tumors. Thankfully, it was really bad, strange infection in that general area, taken care of with meds. Part of our job is to help parents when atypical behaviors show up. #3: A parent in my room called. I took the call. She found she had an aggressive form of a wicked illness. Life threatening. The whole Center surrounded this family. Took her kids home, made donations, we even made a comfort basket with goodies for Mom, Dad, Kids…put them on every prayer list we could find. We admired her wigs, held her when she was whipped and empty, celebrated the small victories. Her letter to us later made us all cry. She was actually thankful to have undergone her ordeal because it helped her to value and cherish her family, the time she was given, and to see just how special we at the Center were. See, they moved here, knowing NO ONE. Family were many states away and Dad worked hundreds of miles away. We became Family. (She’s now 100%). #4: Quite often we are the only source of stability/safety, normalcy many kids have. Nutritious foods, safe sleep times, warmth, protection-these things don’t exist in every household. I know from experience. #5: People say kids in preschool get sick. Yep they do. But if they don’t get their little immune systems built up before school, then they’re in trouble. It’s ok to miss days in preschool. In “big” school, absences count against you. #6: In preschool, families have access to helps that take forever to get into later. Too, as one public school English teacher said to me about her child, early intervention is KEY. Hearing issues/learning disabilities, vision/sensory…all these things are better off if caught early. #7: Mom and Dad split, remarry, move, lose a job, whatever. Kids are confused, angry and afraid. They react, usually resulting in tantrums, violence, etc. We help parents find what they need to help their child learn to cope with changes. A world of difference. #8: We help children develop social/negotiating/self help skills. #9: We are the last stop before 12 years of make or break pressure in a cold, cruel world. #10: We help children prepare-without preschool (ok, I know there are parents out there who will honestly read to their child, teach them, let them explore and experience, but not too many) will your child pass the Kindergarten entrance exam? Did you know that there is one? Bet not. Parents of children who have been in “big” school for years, come back to the Center, crying. CRYING. They miss us. We cared about their children, treated them (parents and children) with respect.
We live in a mobile society. People don’t have the back ups they used to have when I was a child. Granny or Auntie can’t watch kids. They live in another state/city. You can’t ask your neighbor to help, they’re probably a pedophile. Parents both work (assuming there’s 2 parents…) and have little time/energy to teach kids how to write, hold a pencil, use scissors, settle an argument. It’s not for nothing that the people who visit our Center, parents who are doctors, lawyers, pharmaceutical reps, businessmen/women, etc., tell us all the time “wow. I admire you guys. I could never do this. Thank you for all you do for my/our child/children. Many of these are teachers themselves. Oh, I could go on forever. Just know this: to the general public, I and my kind are glorified babysitters and we have the pay to prove it. But to the people who matter, we are Godsends. So you can take your condescending attitude and shove it. My life is whole and complete without your approval.

>Techno-Nerd…Or Just Nerd!

Ok, so I didn’t get anything done on my Project. Nor did I do any housework. But my Honey downloaded a program for me that lets me save videos from YouTube. Cool. So of course I had to look for, and download, all sorts of Olympic and Space videos for my class. The kids are going to love it! Found some vintage vids like the 1980 hockey game and a Scott Hamilton group play/skating thing that was waaaaaay cool. Since last week was Space, got some neat little vids of shuttle take off/landing, as well as a zero gravity thing that’s fun. Yep. I’m a cool teacher. Maybe I can hire a maid….

>Is it over yet?

>Did I really imagine it would be a better day? Hahahaha…silly me. Ah well. I survived and tomorrow is payday. Woohoo! Plus, we didn’t get the bad weather that was sort of predicted,which also made me happy. Normally, I am a fall/winter kind of girl, but this winter has just been stressful. Our new house, which is really old (built in 1933!) has gas heat. Everyone said sure! gas heat is great! Uh huh. Not! So our gas bill has been outrageous, along with our power bill. We have to wait to install more insulation when we get some of our new bills paid off. (While under contract, we lived off credit cards so we could pile more cash into our downpayment-got to get those paid back off!!!) For the first time I can ever remember, I am looking forward to spring. Wow.

But the day is ending well. My Honey cooked dinner (yummy!) and now I’m trying to decide whether to do some housework or work on the Project…hmmmm….


Must 5:30 come so early in the morning? Really? I mean, I wouldn’t be offended if it didn’t show up until around 9 or 10 am. I would settle for 8 but that’s pushing it. And of course, 4:30 pm would still have to be on time…at least it’s Wednesday.

Anyway, I hope to finish all my little tasks before the weekend because I really want to get serious about my Project. I have been procrastinating like crazy and so many things really need to be done. The main thing will be to stay off Facebook! That thing should come with a warning sign for people with addictive personalities! I could (have) waste(d) all kinds of time playing those games.

Ok, I’ve eaten my yogurt and it’s time to get the face on. I will be back later this evening. Hopefully, today will be much more sane than yesterday. Good day all!