>Vodka and Valium
First thing, we had to keep our room doors open-our side of the hall had no heat so the logic was that the heat in the left hand side of the building would flow into our right hand side. Have you ever tried to keep curious children of all ages in rooms that suddenly had easy access to lovely, long hallways perfect for running? Not to mention access to other classrooms filled with friends, different toys and artwork to look at…and any child who is older is a ROCK STAR to younger ones, especially the very animated ones who LOVE the attention and ham it up better than anyone on American Idol. And these kids are talented-they generate screaming admiration that can drown out any teacher’s cry for a modicum of control. Not always an easy task. The babies, actually the “walkers” as they are referred to, especially didn’t like the teasing. Yeah buddy, they wanted to explore the big wide world reeeeealy bad.
It was comical to the point of hysterical insanity to hear all the children yelling at “Bob the Builder”-the name of any repairman wearing a hat. Sadly, these guys just smiled and went on about their business. Unlike the lawnmower dude who, if we are on the playground, “races” the children around the fence. OMG they loose their minds. Lawnmower Dude ROCKS!
Second thing, my co-teacher (not the same one; I’m in a new classroom) was on vacay, so I had all the kids alone. Fun at potty times. So they went potty. Not EVEN ten minutes later, they were asking to go again!!!! Dang. So, we went potty again. Three little bitty minutes later, one decided to poo in their pants. Are you kidding me? This is an older classroom? What is going on here? Ah well. It’s all good.
Then, one of the teachers (a real, honest to goodness, sweetheart, I’ll call her Belle) snipped off the tip of her finger. All the children were worried about her. Yes, they actually do care about us, even though they contribute greatly to premature gray hair, somewhat aphasic speech, short term memory loss, and a strong craving for vodka and Valium. The fact that the children worry if we get a paper cut is what keeps us coming back every day. Anyway, the children were worried but, after we knew she was okay, sorry, we laughed. It’s just so typical of her. Like me, she has lost the ability to speak English or to find her mouth with a fork. So, both of us are comic relief. Actually, all the teachers are fair game as long as no one dies or requires hospitalization.
Let’s see…during lunch (we have a lunchroom and children 2 and up use it-provides time out of the room and gives everyone a small break) someone in a younger class tipped over the mop bucket. You know, one of those giant industrial things with the rolly thingies that squishes the water out of the mop? Yep, one of those. Flooded the hallway, which by now has heat everywhere, Thanks Bobs! So, we had to use the facilities in the lunchroom to potty. Anytime you get off routine, children react. They get excited. They loose their hearing and their minds. And this is just before nap. Woohoo! We also had to go out the front door, through the breezeway, (k, understand here-we’re going outside) to the side entrance to go to our rooms. Great fun! The kids thought we were going to the playground…boy were they disappointed. And they let me know it. It’s okay; I’m just going to run my finger across some fresh paper-they’ll remember they love me and forget all about outside…
That was pretty much how my week ended. The vids I downloaded from YouTube were a massive hit. Other teachers want to use them. Cool. Go Teach, it’s your birthday. Not for real though. Just for play play.