Monthly Archives: March 2010

>Rambling With Bob

>Um, remember my earlier post about being done with FaceBook? Well…okay, I farm. Two farms. On three separate accounts. Okay, so I got some issues!!!! The point is, it didn’t work yesterday, so I had to go and harvest all the crops so they didn’t wither. I did it while I cooked. Rationalizing-I’m a pro. I did do a lot today. Got Baby’s food, got pipe cleaners to make cocoons with when we do The Very Hungry Caterpillar, got some markers for a writing center in our class, got a couple things to start Honey’s Easter basket with (hey, you’re never too old to appreciate an Easter basket!) and saw a few things that gave me ideas for my secret pal. We do secret pals at the Center. It’s fun trying to figure out who has each others names, though I don’t really want to know who has mine-I like the surprise. I might have to run around on my lunch break tomorrow…or write an IOU. Hmmm, what else? Cooked. I know I already mentioned that but my list of accomplishments for the evening is looking kind of pitiful…

In my defense, I did get home really late (after 8pm) and that throws me off…right now, I’m sleepy and stupid. I need to scoop Baby’s litter box. I need some Pepsi. I need about 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Thank God for spell check and red squiggly lines or this would be a mess.

Tomorrow, it won’t matter how sleepy or tired I am. It’s our Easter party. We will hide and hunt eggs. Dye eggs. Eats lots of sweets. I expect the day to be pretty insane and that will effectively hide my exhaustion. My stupidity will seem like silliness to the kids. See? Where else can you masquerade like that? And hopefully, many of them have out of town plans and will leave early…

It did just occur to me that if I made it to bed really quick, I might be able to get up early enough to go find something for my secret pal…but only one place would be open. Dang!

K. My brain won’t go any further. I think I’m rambling. Where’s Bob Seager? Good night!

>What?

>Why is it you can be going along, having a pretty good day, and someone just has to ruin it?

Not going to analyze it, stress it, or try to fix it. I’m sleepy. I’m going to bed. After all, tomorrow is another day…

>Happy Shopping

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I have never really been a necklace kind of girl, but I have to tell you. I found this blog (by clicking on Next Blog, as I am want to do…) posted by this wonderful lady who lives in Australia and guess what? She makes the most amazing jewelry! I want to buy nearly every piece she has, for myself and my friends! I am so thankful for Honey-he doesn’t blink an eye when I tell him I want to buy a custom (yes, custom!) piece of jewelry. I am so excited I can’t stand myself!!!!! Dang!!! I still might become a girly-girl. Yikes! If anyone out there reads this and is interested, the sight is: http://www.etsy.com/shop/vaniasartshop.

>The Tides of March

>Wow, what a strange day. Lazy morning followed by hurried house cleaning. Lovely, soft gray rain followed by wicked storm with hail. Quiet solitude followed by laughing company…rather like the month of March. Makes me kind of look forward to April…good night!

>Legacies: Can I Get A Refund?

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So last night I was doing some research about headaches. I began my search on this wonderful website called: http://www.medlineplus.gov. It’s waaaaaay better than webmd. This place has federal and medical documents submitted by doctors, as well as articles published in medical journals. Check it out sometime.

Anyway, I looked up several ingredients from things like Propel and what not. Turns out that there was nothing in any of them to cause the poundings I’ve been getting lately. I continued my search and found a wonderful breakdown of all kinds of headaches, their symptoms, triggers, as well as some warning signs that one is about to occur. Wow. Was it ever informative. Every blood relative that I have has headaches, usually migraines. This turns out to be a giant factor in whether or not one will suffer from headaches. Thanks, guys. And the strange food cravings I’ve had lately, too, are classic indicators of oncoming pain.

The special headache I’ve had the past few days, well guess what? It’s common beginning at the age of 45. I just turned that a few months ago! Ah! What’s the deal with that?!!

A little girl in my classroom has had very strange stuff going on and the doctors can’t find anything wrong. Turns out, according to the information I found, children get abdominal migraines!!! Who ever heard of that? It causes nausea and vomiting, as well as excruciating pain. Spot on for how she was acting. It also usually means they will suffer headaches later in life. Sorry Baby Girl.

In case anyone reads this, and they happen to suffer from headaches like I do, here is the link: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/headache/detail_headache.htm

I hope it helps.

>I Didn’t Do It!!!

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If my goal for Saturday was to be completely, totally, and uncompromisingly unproductive, then I succeeded. The monkey on my head that has been stabbing me with a knife for the last several days seems to be getting tired. He has been rather quiet, thankfully, only remembering what he’s supposed to be doing every once in a while.

Though it’s no excuse, it doesn’t help that Honey is working all kinds of days and hours lately. It doesn’t take much to throw off my schedule and routines…

Tomorrow I will do better. Rather, later today…

>Busy Busy Me

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Friday, glorious Friday! Actually it wasn’t a bad week, just a long, very busy one. And next week will be even busier, but we only have to work for four days. Woohoo! I got to get geared up for a busy weekend. So, on that note, I’m going to sign off, take a hot shower, grab a bite to eat, and listen to my Zune till bedtime. What?!! It helps me relax for tomorrow….(hee).

>Slow Down!!!

>Man, I need a week long nap. This year is flying by. We no sooner get through one holiday or event, and before we can turn around, another is upon us! Did someone put the world on fast forward? Maybe pressed skip too many times? We are still working on the “spring” related things in our class and now we have to begin Easter stuff. Aaarrrggg! At least tonight’s Classroom meeting went really well. At our Center, each classroom is required to host 4 Classroom meetings. Open House counts as one and we have to come up with ideas for the other 3. Tonight, our local Educational Consultant helped us host a nutritious food/snack event. Parents came with their child and we learned how to make some really cool snacks that also incorporated a lot of skills: fine motor, counting, sorting, color recognition, following directions, sequencing, etc. It was really cool for obvious reasons (we got to eat the goodies we made) but it was neat because parents got a chance to see how we, as teachers, incorporate learning with play. The turnout was fantastic. Each parent that signed up came, even the family that isn’t in our room yet. We were very pleased with the whole thing.

Now, we have to get ready for Easter. At least we have some really fun science/snack activities we can use in our lesson plan for next week…

>Surfaces

>While I was considering what to blog about tonight, I remembered a conversation Co-Teacher and I had earlier today. Then I started thinking about a U2 song, Even Better Than The Real Thing. There’s a line in the song that goes “…we’ll slide down the surface of things…” Funny thing, surfaces. They can be pretty, shiny, expensive, scarred, broken, chipped, burned, cracked, you get the picture. I wonder what I would find if I could pull off the surfaces and look underneath. The underneath, the hidden, secret things hidden from public view-this was the crux of our earlier conversation.

We are both survivors; myself, often against my will, or in spite of it. We decided that many people, if we could look beneath or behind their surfaces, would have stories similar to ours.

I learned a long time ago to suck it up and screw it in place; never let anyone see you cry if you can help it (it really ticks me off that I cry when I get really angry). Unless you’re a “safe” person for me, you will never know when I am sick, hurting (physically, emotionally, or any other kind of way), angry, or in any way bothered. I will always seem happy and well adjusted. You won’t see the bleeding wounds or festering sores that comprise much of my psyche, my soul. Yes, I’m saved; yes, I believe in God and that He heals and forgives. But it is a process, sometimes a very long one. I’m digressing-this could go into several different tangents and I can easily derail my thought train…where was I going with this?

Oh yeah, surfaces. You can watch HGTV and see how stagers will cover a counter that has lots of flaws with a shiny new piece of granite (or granite like) counter top. Scuffed or out of date flooring is covered with snap together wood or peel and stick tile. Cracked walls can be puttied and painted. Even dead grass can be painted green! The new home-buyer may or may not ever know what is under their pretty work top, wall, floor, or lawn, but it’s still there. Will it one day cause a problem? Will the home-buyer be surprised at what they find hidden underneath? Will it become a deal breaker? Will they be angry and immediately put the home on the market, making sure to re-cover the flaws they’ve found?

Or will they think about it? Will they see the firmness of the foundation? Will they see the character in the design? Will they see the potential beyond the flaws? Will they remember the feeling that brought them to the house in the first place? Will they be able to go beyond the surface of things and repair the brokenness of their dwelling? Will they place value and worth on imperfection? Will they be able to find happiness and satisfaction in spite of all these things? Even if others judge them harshly?

These are things we must ask of ourselves. We are broken, flawed, marred by the past that shaped us. For better or worse, we are products of our environments. We must choose, for ourselves, by ourselves, whether we want to remain broken and in ruins. True, some things may never be repaired or healed, but most things can at least be “brought up to code”. By that I mean, learning to accept certain aspects of the reality that surrounds us. We can’t replace or relive our childhood. But we may learn to view it in different ways. I have learned to try to remember that Grandmother, though she may have made life hell for us, is one of the reasons I have such compassion for others. The violations I endured have caused me to be protective and fierce toward the babies in my care, as well as my friends and family. The broken places that continue to bleed inside me remind me to consider that others, people who make me angry or frustrated, my have the same things going on inside them.

I read something in another blog recently. I can’t remember it word for word but the gist was that our power lies in our wounds. That’s really deep and profound, folks. Think about it for a while.

It’s not our pretty, shiny, impressive surfaces that make us who we are. It’s the hidden underside, and how we regard it.

If you choose to consider any of this, one word of caution: every day, sometimes every hour is a battle. If you choose to find power in your brokenness, be assured that the enemy of your soul will send as much doubt and defeat your way as possible. Make a conscious decision to stand your ground and turn a deaf ear to the voices that would cause you to doubt the new vision you have hidden within yourself. And remember, the most powerful naysayer is probably your own…

>Small Things

>If there is one quote that gets repeated about a thousand gajillion times, it’s “it’s the little things…”. Well, it really is the little things.

Today, two boys in my class actually told me they had to poop BEFORE they did it in their pants. AND, they made it to the bathroom without any slippage. Wow. It might seem like a small achievement in the grand scheme of things, but let me tell you, those boys were proud. So of course, I had to alert all the available teachers and Director and Assistant. Much shouting, clapping, and high-fiving ensued, as did the administering of stickers and hand-drawn smiley tattoos on the backs of hands. Poop that makes it to the potty is a BIG deal.

A little girl in my class will one day, no doubt, be a famous artist. I have several pieces stowed away, (gifts, mind you, freely given) for the day when her art becomes astronomically expensive. Then, I intend to pull out those little marker scribblings and auction them off. Maybe that trip to Europe I’ve always wanted will finally happen…when we marvel over her renderings, she just beams. She really is fantastic for her age. And, she gives me one everyday. Just because.

Co-Teacher brought lunch today-delicious homemade spaghetti. Like the little old lady in the Bible, she gave out of her little and created much. Also, Co-Teacher will always listen with empathy, even when she is barely holding it together. Just offering her ear…it’s not necessarily much, but it’s everything.

Assistant gives hugs for no apparent reason. It reminds my inner self that the Great Lie still exists, but that it’s a lie.

Director tells wonderful stories about her family experiences and for a few moments, I can feel the glow off them as if I had been a part of a family that actually cared about each other.

Former Co-Teacher, while dropping her daughter off and then heading to Hospital for a Procedure, brought a small container of a dish I can’t cook. Aaawww, how much more thoughtful can you get?

Husband always, ALWAYS asks how my day is going or went. And he really wants to know and he listens.

Today, I was sad for a little bit. Today, it felt like a load of bricks landed on the back of my head and the pain was almost more than I could bear. Today, Co-Teacher had to fill in for absent teachers, leaving me alone with a class full of Spring Fever Sufferers. (Yes, children really do get spring fever-just hide out in any classroom and watch.) Today, bunches of small things saved me from myself, circumstances, and The Great Lie.

Never dismiss the little things. They could be saving you.