Did you ever see that movie from the eighties…Gremlins? Neat movie. Except now, I actually believe gremlins exist. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to convince me otherwise. This morning I actually left early enough to stop by a store and get cupcakes for Dr. Seuss’s birthday party we planned to have at snack time. To get back to the road I needed, I had to wait for a left turn light. The gremlins in charge of the little switches that change one set of lanes from green to red so that the other set of lanes, namely mine, can go from red to green, were snickering behind their scaly little paws inside the transformer box. If I hadn’t spied a city cop sitting in the parking lot, I would have turned left on red, but alas, I was too chicken to try. I hate the gremlins. They made me wait at least three minutes, which is a lot in travel time. The road was clear in both directions for at least half a mile…but no, they just laughed and high-fived one another and left me stewing, helplessly, at my red light. I’m sure they could see me through a peephole they have drilled in their little box, making fun of my frustrated faces, futile swearing and impotent rage. Finally, other witnesses to their evil antics pulled up behind me and, fearing detection and ultimate deportation, they changed the lights. These are probably the same ones that played with the lights near our old apartment. There, they actually made me wait as long as seven minutes before. I think from now on, I’m going to take advantage of the times they make me wait and see if I can find their little peephole. If I do, I’m going to start carrying a reflective crystal. Then I’ll fry the little buggers! No one will ever have to sit through useless red lights again! (clap, clap, clap…you’re welcome, bow)
Traffic gremlins aren’t the only kind that exists, either. I also have reason to believe a microscopic version of the teeny titans of tumult live somewhere on my scalp and have been responsible for the wicked migraines I have experienced recently. Why else wouldn’t my usual remedies work? Because it’s GREMLINS!
Now that I consider it, it’s possible they live in the hair of small children, too. Much like Ratatouille steered his ventriloquist cook, gremlins persuade the children to hit, scream, run, slap, and fall-all day long by pulling their hair and scratching/biting their scalps. And of course, it’s the children who have to sit in time out, not the gremlins…note to self: check children’s heads for signs of gremlin infestation.
On a lighter note, went to Hospital to see Sister in Law and Brother. Met Nephew and Niece in Law there. We are probably the only people who have been threatened with eviction from a hospital. For laughing. OMG Brother makes me hurt I laugh so hard. He is a very talented storyteller. Not to mention the interaction between him and his beleaguered wife. Had a great time. Nice, because on the way was not as much fun. Why must men go over the river and through the woods to get to the next block? Had a tiny argument with Honey cause he always goes waaaaaaaay around the other direction to get anywhere. He thinks it saves time and is shorter. Dang! Hello! Migraine here! Don’t feel like wasting ten extra minutes of riding time just to satisfy your need for a scenic route! You know, I better check Honey for gremlin infestation, too. Just to be sure…