>Kidnapped By My Muse…Or Something Else?

>

I don’t know if it’s because of nano, but lately, I can’t find enough time to write.

I toyed with the idea of writing down a few Christmas memories and posting them. Instead, things have come out of me that I hadn’t intended to write. I have several saved as drafts….

I found the Keyhole blogfest and, surprise to me, I entered it. My first short story in years.

I didn’t sign up for the Harry Potter blogfest, but, dang, the MC from my first wip demanded I write something. So, I did, for her. I couldn’t enter it as it was well over 2k words, but I may post it here as a break between Christmas related posts.

Roland put a video on his blog that I’d never seen – TSO’s Christmas Canon, with Harry Potter. It made me cry. This holiday season, which should be a festive and joy filled season, is all about the dead and the missing for me. I have no idea at all where I am. All I know is that I’m having a hard time dealing with all the feelings that are being dredged up inside of me and I can’t keep up with the ideas in my mind. Those things, combined with the music I’m listening to, are producing some interesting stuff, idea-wise.

The MC from my first wip is called Tangi and she and I have been getting really close lately. The HP story I wrote for her is about the dead we all carry around with us.

TSO has another song, and Tangi showed me a scene from her life that fit perfectly, and showed me even more of her heart and her soul.

I’m beginning to wonder if Tangi is more than my MC. I believe she is my muse, and she’s taken hold of my hand, like a ghost of Christmas, and we’ve gone walkabout. The landscape is strange and somewhat frightening. The skies are deep gray and a mist surrounds us. Soft shadows and sounds creep into our psyches. I am unsettled by the discoveries I’m making in these places, but I journey on, holding tight to her hand while the ghosts of Christmases past haunt my soul and the specter of the future looms like a great, dark cloud on the horizon….

See, this post isn’t even going as I’d planned. I wanted it to be funny….and it’s gone sideways.

This just occurred to me – this was the very thing I was afraid of if I began really writing. I would lose control and become an emotional wreck. Huh. I feel a little better, as long as it helps me produce quality stuff…..

Tangi hasn’t kidnapped me after all. She’s along for the ride, bending my emotional currents, shaping them, weaving music and emotion with words…..as a good muse should.

I just hope I can keep up and stay together and write things that make what I’m experiencing worth it all…..

Do any of you experience this type of thing?

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About CuriousCat

I love to learn new things-anything from how to create a junk journal to the way light moves through space; why cats present their behinds to us to the effects of chemicals on our endocrine system. If it interests me, I can spend hours reading and learning about it.

Posted on December 12, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. >Nothing wrong with sideways 🙂 And nothing wrong with our characters kidnapping us writers once in a while. Perhaps they have something we need to understand, and there is no other way.You'll figure it out. In the mean time, enjoy the writing journey.Now I'm off to read your Christmas tale. I didn't join this one b/c I was polishing my query, among other things. Thanks for your encouraging comment on my query. You have been such a bright light in my comments section. Thank you for being my friend……….dhole

  2. >To get out of a rut sometimes you have to go backwards before you can forward. If that's true for stuck cars, I think it is true for us authors, too.Every person close to me that has died — died during the holidays. I don't do Christmas any more. No trees. No decorations. The magic of the season died for me with those closest to me.I still play Christmas tunes on my computer though. But only those versions done after the deaths of my loved ones. I volunteer to do Thanksgiving and Christmas day at the blood center for those who still have family. So there are many like you, who have a somber time during the holidays. That's why I try to make eye contact with all the harried faces I see in the malls and the hospitals and streets — to give them a smile, especially if they have none of their own. Have a healing holiday season, Roland

  3. >Christmas can be a very difficult time when people who should be sharing it with us are missing. At least you're still writing, which is more than I can say!I hope you come through this feeling it was worthwhile, even though painful.

  4. >Sometimes our muse knows what we need better than we know ourselves. I don't enjoy Christmas and try to celebrate it with as little fuss as possible. (The 6yr.old needs her Santa fix) But the traditions have long since fallen by the wayside for me.Don't fret, it will all be over soon.

  5. >Oh yes, I'm experiencing it now. You are not alone my friend, please know that. Take notes, breath deep and just relax, that voice will come back :)Besides I like sideways 😀Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  6. >This year my youngest son is moving out..for the first time…the week before Christmas. He's moving out of State…which is even harder.Seems that every Christmas in recent years is somewhat bittersweet…I know how easy it is to get 'side tracked' or 'sideways'…Hopefully I can be inspired to do new art as a result.

  7. >Sometimes the most interesting writing-stuff comes out when we're aiming for something else. It's always fascinating to see where the journey takes us. Sorry to hear it sounds like you're having a rough time – I hope things start to look up soon. Sending you an e-hug!

  8. >You have a job and completed NaNo. Of course you're burned out. This time of year also dredges up memories for some people. Give yourself a break and I'm sure you'll come back better than ever.Writing has brought me to some pretty dark places. When we write truths, it can leave us feeling raw.Take care.

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