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>HEY!!!!!

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Well, more like a quick visit to say hello and see what’s going on with everyone. 

It’s been a little crazy the last several weeks. Initially, I took time off to work on my two wip’s. Part of the way in, I realized that Tangi had backed off again, though I did manage to get several scenes written and a few others sketched out. Hopefully, they can be used. ***update: as I was writing this, she showed me something!***

With the nano book, I rewrote the beginning (I learned that agents won’t read anything beginning with someone waking from a nightmare.) The new intro is actually much better than the original, so that’s a plus. Then, I found myself rewriting the whole thing, not something I have time for and it was loosing something in the retelling. So I decided that I would try and just rewrite pages at a time.

Finding how difficult and time consuming that was becoming, I decided to put both wip’s on hold and follow another idea. (Can you spot the ADHD coming into play here?) One that I’m keeping under wraps for right now. But the neat thing was that it would be quicker and aimed at a wider target. Cool, right? Well, it was cool, for about a week. I was 10,653 words into the new project when the A/C went out. During the hottest week in May. (Director’s father said his porch read 103 degrees F.)  And the prednisone was still coursing wildly through my system. Yep, a total meltdown occurred. At one point, I simply started crying and was unable to stop. *Sigh*

Since about the age of 14, I’ve been unable to abide extreme heat. I’m told it’s probably a hormonal thing. I’m no better than a wrung out dish rag. So all writing/blogging/and facebooking came to a screeching halt. Eight days later, we had air again *silent prayer of thanksgiving* but the damage was done. I’d lost all my motivation. The writing train had derailed. Three weeks passed. Not one word written.

Till William came back to the Center for the summer! He’s my only face-to-face friend that writes and understands/gets excited about all things writerly. He’d done some research about short stories and where to submit them. Since we’re both pushed for time, we decided to concentrate on shorts, working on the wip’s when time allowed or the muses insisted. We’re both writing like crazy and I’m finding it fun and challenging. I’m finding he’s also quite the crit buddy!

Since this is a longer weekend, I hope to get a few more written, (I’ve sketched out ideas for several!) then concentrate on polishing them up. I also want to resume work on the new shiny, finishing it if I can. Ambitious, but the summer is passing quickly and I want as much to show for my time off as possible.

That’s pretty much what’s been going on as far as writing goes. During the A/C – prednisone drama, I reverted to my bad emotional eating habits and paid for it in spades. Consuming an estimated 3 to 4 thousand mg’s of sodium caused the wicked-bad migraines to return. Lesson learned. I’ve had my tatt redone (when it healed, there were blank spaces) and Honey finally had time to do some landscaping in the front of the house (I looks a lot better).

Work has been almost non-stop activities/happenings/events, but this week was really mellow. Lots of families on vacay, so I got to come home early yesterday (Friday). A couple of our kiddos are having some serious health issues and could use some positive thoughts and prayers, please. (I can’t mention names or conditions, sorry.)

Right now, I’m going to get some of my Saturday stuff done and then I’ll see if the Muse is with me. If she is, I’ll be writing for most of the afternoon and early evening. Then, I’ll be around to visit. I’ve missed you guys!!!!  If Ms. Muse is absent, I’ll visit sooner!

My weekend plans? To see Transformers! And I’m sooooooo looking forward to HP7 part II. The last trailer makes me cry. 

So, how have ya’ll been?

>My Tinkerbell Theory (Long-ish, But With A Surprise At The End)

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I do believe in fairies, I do! I do!

You ever have those days when it seems like you’re all alone in your quest for your dream? And everything and everyone is pulling at you from all possible directions and, when you finally do get to a quiet, peaceful moment, you’re too tired or too fuzzy to think creatively?

I’m not saying that there aren’t people around me who wish me well in my creative endeavor. It’s just that most of them have a lot going on in their lives and just don’t have the energy. They do want to know how it’s going, but, really, I can’t expect them to get all giddy about getting four thousand words written when they have to spend their evening going to a dozen sporting events, cooking dinner, and making sure everyone’s homework is finished. Some of my friends understand that trying to write something is hard, and they respect that. There are those who believe you can just pull the words out of your head and be published in a few months. I wish! But, really, they don’t understand what it takes, or what it costs.

It’s just not everyone’s thing. Like baseball isn’t mine. Honey is a great ball player and I would go watch some of his games if he played in a league. But come the hottest part of summer, I’d have to think of other ways to be supportive from time to time. Me and summer – we ain’t cool. And Honey would be fine with that. He knows that summer is not my thing.

Not everyone writes. So people don’t generally understand the emotional highs and lows, the ever plaguing doubts and insecurities, and the need to try, even if the dream of becoming published and successful inches farther and farther away every day.

I do have one friend who gets it, but he’s a college student. My co-teacher’s son, William. He’s an aspiring writer who plans to masquerade as a history teacher. The rare moments we get to see each other, there’s not enough time in the world to share our successes and failures and ideas, etc. But it’s good, for a few minutes, to speak the same language, to have the same understanding, you know?

That’s just one of the many, many reasons I’m so thankful to have all of you. Whether you know it or not, you help me. You inspire and encourage me. By commenting and commiserating; by going before and throwing breadcrumbs liberally behind you; and you even take a few minutes to read and offer feedback when I hesitantly put something up that’s writing, not just posting.

And what makes it even more special, is that you offer your time and support regularly, even with just plain ol’ everyday life stuff.

I don’t remember what made me think of Tinkerbell the other day, but when I did, I had this image of all of you. Of us; our little cyber-social world. Most of us are not what I call ‘face-to-face’ friends. We’ll likely never meet (except if you live in my state, it would really be cool!), but we still get to know each other a bit. I miss it when I can’t visit more regularly. I miss you when you’re gone for a while. There have been occasions when people have left permanently, one way or another, and I’ve been genuinely sad.

As I thought about Tinkerbell, I began to wonder. Sure, we blog for all sorts of reasons, but…..do you think – is there a bit of Tinkerbell inside us all? Inside of me?

I can only answer for myself. And I would have to say yes, I do believe there is a bit of her in me. Or, rather, I’m a little like her….somewhere. I get weary and tired. Especially when it comes to writing and trying to figure out some of the what if’s and the what now’s and so forth. Not to mention the self-sabotaging I do sometimes. And there isn’t anyone who understands. They want to, but, like I said before, it’s just not their thing. I love them for their desire to help and if their support is in the form of clearing the way for me to write uninterrupted and without any fuss because the dishes aren’t washed, then that’s fabulous to me *waving and blowing a kiss to Honey!*

I think that’s part of what makes you guys so special. You do understand. When one of us has fallen down because of rejections, or a block, or illness, or whatever, we clap our hands and remind each other that we do believe, we do believe! We remind each other that there are people out there, somewhere, tethered to a computer in a room, typing, and going through similar things. And that we’re not alone.

Hope is offered. So is understanding. Often, sound advice and creative ideas are, too. Sometimes a laugh, which always helps. {{{{hugs}}}} are priceless.

Pretty soon, even if a solution isn’t in sight, a warm glow fills us and we revive, ready to try again. Just because someone, somewhere, believes…….

So thank you, my friends, for all the times you clap for me. Just know that I’m clapping for you, too. I do believe! I do believe!


So, for all of you who regularly come by and visit, sharing wisdom and laughter and commiseration, this is for you. No rules. Just a thank you. I really, really mean it. It’s yours. Share it with whomever you choose.





BTW, image gotten from imagebase.davidniblack.com. a free image source. Way cool site.

>Do You See A Theme Here?

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Hello Friends, I’m breaking my schedule here. My last two posts were either kind of dark or heavy or self absorbed, so I wanted to leave you something fun for the rest of the week. But, alas, it’s been another banner day. 
The fierceness of the itchy red bumps has greatly eased off. And they’re even looking a little bit lighter, which is great, because I look really weird. I’m still not sleeping as much as I need, but that’s also starting to improve. It’s the Benedryl I’m still taking. The anxiety attacks have stopped, thankfully. But things that put other people to sleep usually make me wired to the nth degree. However, that, too, seems to be wearing off. Wow, lots of goodness going on. 
But, today….*shameful facepalm*…..today I was a bad, bad mommy. I forgot Kitty Boss at the Vet!!!!!!!!!
She had her yearly physical and I reminded Honey to drop her off. He didn’t need reminding, of course, but I did it anyway, just in case. One would think it would occur to him to remind me, too. But no. His reply was that in the three years we’ve had her, I’ve never forgotten. Why would he think I would forget now? Well, dang, how do I answer that?
This evening, when leaving work, I had a whole list of things I needed to pick up on the way home, until I remembered that Honey had made a deposit for me and had my debit card. So, what did I do? I went straight home.
So you can imagine my surprise, shock, horror, and shame when he called at 7pm and told me I had left her. 
There is good news, though. They were having a meeting and said I could still come get her. I made a 20 minute drive in just under 8. Don’t ask for details. I swear I will lie. Yes, they teased me terribly, and we all had a good laugh. But I felt like the mom who forgot to pick up her kid from ball practice. 
Fortunately, Kitty Boss still loves me and was happy to be home. Didn’t you miss her, you might ask? Well, no. Typically, she stays in her daddy’s office until he comes home. She’s a daddy’s girl, unless I’m fixing her nightly treat of a smidgeon of canned food or I go looking for her.
So, in honor of today’s events, I found some cute little LOLs to go along with the theme of absent mindedness. I hope you enjoy them and have a great week.

>Words: A Letter To Mom

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Well, it’s Mother’s Day. For some of us, that’s a complicated day. Yes, I loved my mother and I choose to believe she loved me. I’ve stated in the past that ours was a very complicated relationship. It helps to know that she was sick for a really long time, and I’m not talking about her condition. I’m talking about her depression. And of course the grandmother was the root of much evil, but that’s a story for another day….
My mother had diabetes and the last insulin she was put on was later (after her death) blamed for many deaths. My sister and I discussed whether we should pursue a law suit. In the end, we didn’t want to relive the pain and horror of it all over and over again. And truly, Mom suffered horribly. We had all been through enough, so we let it go. 
Mom entered the hospital for what the doctors told us would be the last time. We’d been here so many times before….I worked second shift then and I cleared it with the head nurse on duty to come after 12am and sit with her. Of course when I arrived, another nurse was on duty and she said I absolutely could not visit at that hour. I told her that. I. was. sitting. with. my. mother. She left me alone.
I sat for just over an hour with Mom. Her breathing was difficult but there was such a feeling of peace about her. She told me I needed to go home and get some sleep. I said I was staying. I am as stubborn as she ever was, and that’s saying something. We sat in a companionable silence most of the time. It was enough. Finally, knowing that I was worrying her, I kissed her on the cheek and told her I loved her and she said she loved me too. Those were the last words we ever spoke to each other while she was alive. Again, another story…..
When I came home from her funeral, still in my dress, I sat down and wrote her a letter. It came out almost exactly as you will see it here. It was the second poem I put on my poetry blog…..it’s a pretty good summation of our relationship.

I think of the words

I should say
sitting here with you
Please don’t worry
it’ll be okay
knowing they’re all untrue
There is no future
only the past
thoughts lay heavy in my mind
The second hand’s turning
time’s slipping fast
I’ll give you what I can find
Fumbling through the memories
locked deep in my heart
I cry out in despair
So many times
words tore us apart
neither of us seemed to care
We gave plenty of words in anger
and quite a few in blame
too many now that can’t be taken back
Saddened with bitter regret
I lower my head in shame
I’m stunned by the courage we lack
How simple it would have been
to say I understand
forgive the things I do
I wonder if we had
would you have taken my hand
could we ever have said I love you
Still we shared many a laugh
good times lasted for miles
I wish you could come home
I want to go with you
I guess I’ll stay for a while
I’m afraid of being alone
Words really aren’t needed
we know each other too well
the past already forgot
You leave me here
in my sweet private hell
I watch as the second hand stops
RSM 4/20/1994

>A Tribute For Gypsy And Roland…..

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My friends, it has truly been a difficult week. I found out early yesterday morning that Roland’s beloved Gypsy had crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. 

I cannot describe what a joy and a blessing it is to have a furry little companion that gives you unconditional love and acceptance when you’re otherwise very alone in this world.

They see the secret you.

The one that cries and worries. The one that teeters on the brink of absolute despair and wonders if tomorrow even needs to come.

They see the one that smiles when a friend calls or comes by because they were thinking of you. The one that sheds quiet, happy tears over thoughtful emails and paper cards.

Through it all, they sit by you, cuddle with you, and watch over you while you sleep. They wait patiently for you when you leave, trusting that you will return to them. The joy they express when you do is genuine – they miss you.

They even draw you out of yourself in the guise of play. They love it when you laugh.

They become your confidant, your companion, cherished beyond description.

And saying good-bye to them is very nearly more than you can bear…..

I’ve been there.

Back in January, another friend’s companion crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and I wrote this for him. I’m reposting it, now, for Gypsy and Roland…..

Bless the Beasts and the Children, for in this world they have no choice, they have no voice…  by Karen Carpenter
Tiny little paws make permanent prints all over our souls. 
They come into our lives,
on purpose,
by accident, 
as miracles.
The lucky ones are cherished.
We let them in.
We feed them,
bathe them,
keep them safe
and warm
and healthy.
And they give.
Always.
Laughter.
Love.
Loyalty.
Companionship.
Comfort.
They trust.
And love.
Unconditionally.
And when they leave,
they tear a hole in our hearts.
Broken and devastated,
we honor them
with our tears,
our pain, 
and our recollection
of all the time we shared with them.
Laughing.
Playing.
Cuddling.
Being.
This week,
a friend of ours
was left behind.
His cherished companion
crossed over the Rainbow Bridge,
leaving behind sad faces and broken hearts,
as well as sickness and pain.
It isn’t easy, 
letting them go.
Love is a double edged sword.
It heals
and cuts
and heals again.
And one day,
we’ll follow shadowy prints
over a bridge,
through a misty veil…..
and be greeted by 
warm fuzzy kisses, 
excited barks
and happy purrs.
Till that day,
may they always run
over fields that are green
and under skies that are blue.
…..for Gypsy and Roland
RSM 1/6/2011

>Some Quick Catching Up!

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Yay!!! We made it to Caturday!!!
It’s been an interesting week.
And a hard one.
Prayers for everyone affected by the catastrophic quake/tsunami in Japan.
Also, don’t forget about all the people here at home who are experiencing flooding….
Honey fixed my technical problems. 
Thinking I had a terrible virus, we installed a protection program.
Then we learned, er, Honey learned, that our router was bad.
It was 8 years old and on it’s last spark.
He got a new one and things should have been great.
The problems worsened. Turned out, the program became the problem!
Uninstalled and working fine, now. Whew!
I want to thank everyone who stopped by for Roland’s tour.
Today, he and Hibbs are in Aussie-Land, visiting Denise.
Stop by and check out her interview.
It’s like a trip into another world!
And remember, there’s a contest for some awesome books, 
signed by the authors!
This is what I hope to be doing later.
Cat-napping.
Have a wonderful and safe Caturday!

>Good Times? Kinda – Sorta – Maybe….

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 Wow, I’m way behind! It’s been an eventful week so far….

Monday, our area was under a severe thunder storm warning and a tornado watch. Good times….

I’m sure you’ve driven through gusty winds and felt your car shift. Well, I felt my car get lifted! As I left work for home, I drove right through the storm and the wind was so powerful that I could feel my car being slightly lifted and blown to the left. I’ve never been so afraid while driving, wow! And the rain was blinding, but, fortunately, it passed quickly.

Mostly, we just had a lot of small debris all over the place and some very minor flooding. The storm did, however, knock out our internet for a whole day. It came back on early this morning. YAY!!!!

In other news, it’s March now. Duh! you might say. Well, in our daycare center, March is a super big deal. This is Dr. Seuss week, which means a week of funny stories, weird fashion choices, and a Jammies Day on Friday. And, since tomorrow, the 2nd, is Dr. Seuss’ birthday, we’re going to have a small celebration. I have to pick up something in the morning…..note to self….

March also ushers in my favorite ‘magical thinking’ holiday – St. Patrick’s Day. Our Director and Assistant Director play ‘leprechaun’ tricks in all the classrooms. And the fun has already started! I’ll do a post later, complete with pics of one of their new, um….concoctions: leprechaun boogers! CRAZY!!!! You know, I work with some truly disturbed creative and demented fun people =P

Tonight, everyone stayed after work because it was time for our re-certification in SIDS, First Aid, and CPR. Our public health nurse is a hoot and she totally knows her stuff, which means we learn and have a good time.

Hopefully, the rest of the week will be more normal and I’ll be able to get some things crossed off my out of control To Do List.

Till then, I hope you all are having a great week and don’t forget to stop and check out the giveaway post!

>Thank You

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I just wanted to say a very special Thank You to everyone who stopped by here yesterday and wished my husband a happy birthday.
It really touched him to see all of your b-day wishes in the comments section 🙂
You guys are the best!

>Happy Birthday!!!!

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Well, today is a very special day.
For all kinds of reasons.
First, it’s Honey’s birthday, yay!!!!
Today is also the one year anniversary of my blog. 
Yep, one year ago today, we ate pizza, watched the movie UP,
(I have no idea what we’ll do tonight….)
and I sent my very first little baby post out into the mysterious blogverse….
and you responded!
*long, whispered “Wow!”*
So, if you’ve stopped by here today, have some Honey-Blog birthday cake.
And know that I really appreciate your presence, your friendship, your guidance, and your encouragement.
This has been an amazing year.
The next one is going to be even better!
And, since you have been sweet enough to drop by here today,
why don’t you pick up this lovely ‘gift’ before you leave.

Last week, dtwilight from Goddess of Cats gave me this lovely award
and I’d like to pass it on to you.
Cause you’re sweet!

If you haven’t checked out her blog, do so,
especially if you love cats 🙂

Happy Birthday, Honey!
And, Happy Birthday RDW 🙂

Happy Tuesday!!!

>Whaddaya Think?

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Okay, first of all, thank you, everyone, for all your helpful advice. Since I don’t have some of the suggested software, I went to morguefile.com and picked out a free photo. Then, I uploaded the pic to picasa and edited it in picnik (took a while to find the right size for my template)….and came up with this header.

Then, I had to find a background that I both liked and that sort of matched.

What do you think? Be honest, I can take it!

*******Edit: I already changed the background…..this one has a more ‘rainy’ look to it…..? Opinions? Suggestions?********